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| my new job breaks my heart. I'm working with 6-9 year olds at a residential treatment facility. i was asked tonight by another staff if i'm asking myself why i'm doing this job....my response was "ask me after my next shift." i hurt for these children so badly! it's so easy for people to blame the problems these kids have on them just being bad, but there is so much more to it than that. these kids have been exposed to so many types of abuse. I've realized how easy it is to take for granted all of the good things that I have had in my life. I was never physically, mentally or sexually abused by a family member or friend of the family. my heart hurts more every time i see these kids...there are a couple that can really piss staff off, but yet just about every single one of us would adopt them in a heart beat. i experienced my first restraints tonight...i helped with 1 of them and we had 3 others. the boy that i helped restrain happens to hate women and was being restrained b/c he wasn't listening to female staff so he went down after biting and punching, his response to being restrained was "get the fuck off me, bitch!" over and over again, he's 7 years old! a child that age shouldn't even know what those words sound like! there are so many people that should be told they aren't allowed to have kids (ever!!!) b/c of things like this. After a mad crazy night like tonight, i cannot wait till my next shift. i say that in all seriousness. i used to think that i was a relatively patient person, and then i started working in customer service again and the patience dropped. Now i'm learning how to be patient all over again...this job give a whole new meaning to having patience. well, i can't think of anything else to write for now even though i know about a million things have happened since the last time i wrote. peace | | |
| Tomorrow I will be making the 10 hour drive back to PA. I'm pretty excited about the fact that I will no longer be living in northeast GA. I'm not so excited about dealing with a northern winter again...it's already getting into the 30s at night! that's a big change from the GA winters. Hopefully I won't get too bored living with my parents, I've liked not living with them for so long, but now I have to move back home...shouldn't be too bad b/c I know it won't be long before I don't live with them again and I'm in Seattle. I can't think of anything else so I'm gonna go eat my last dinner in GA. layta | | |
| well, i figured it's been a day or 2 since i last posted....so here it goes. a lot has actually happened recently. chances are i won't actually post about everything though...
the list begins: Candee and I moved to Royston, my mom came and visited b/c the deans were jerks, my puppy got a bladder infection and peed ALL OVER THE PLACE! umm, Candee's mom and grandma came to visit, we went to stone mtn while they were here, i work a whole lot, i'm rapidly developing a large movie collection b/c i'm a movie junkie, Candee and I rent at least 4 to 5 movies EVERY week, decided that i'm not gonna graduate from TFC (i seriously think this could be the best decision in my life!), Ashley's sister-in-law (Candace) came to live with Ash and Gabe for the summer to work at the restaurant with us, weddings have happened (and i haven't been to 1 yet cuz i'm too poor to go anywhere), friends have gotten engaged -congrats to all of those that this applies to, oh yea -graduation happened too so congrats if this applies to you.
That's about all I can think of at this time.
I like funny movies! "Boomshakalaka!"  | | |
| www.godhatesfags.com - this makes me udderly disgusted with religion and so many people that call themselves "Christian"!!! God doesn't hate anybody, God hates sin! Get it right and freaking quit condemning people to Hell for no reason! there are so few people that call themselves Christian that I actually respect anymore. there have been so many people in my life that have called themselves "Christian" but yet they set horrible examples of who Christ really is. I greatly appreciate the friends that I have that i know are truly seeking after the Lord. I grew up in a non-Christian home, I have much different views than many people because of this...and if it weren't for the people that have actually invested in a friendship with me and shown me a good example over the last 4 years, i would probably leave toccoa falls college and never claim Christianity again....yea it's sad, but for all of the hurt that i have experienced and for how little people truly show that they actually care, that's how i honestly feel at this point in time. i came to this school thinking that it would be different than most of what i have experienced, and yes, it is different....but most of it is not different, the people are hypocritical and talk about people behind their backs but yet won't confront them about something that they see might possibly be a problem or something that somebody is struggling with - instead, those people are talked about, "investigated" in a very sneaky and deceitful ways and then they might eventually be confronted about the situation at hand.
the website that i put at the beginning kinda just triggered something in me and it irritated me, and yes....right now this is my heart. I am disgusted with religion and so many people that call themselves Christian....if you want to call yourself a Christian to me - prove that your life is different than what i have seen every day for 4 years now....my completely atheist boss is a better person and has a kinder heart than some of the "christians" that i know....at least he's real with people and will tell you how it is. i don't understand why people feel that they need to beat around the bush to make a point, just say it, yea you still need to be tactful in what you say, but for the love of all that is good...just tell the freaking truth and what you really see! that would make life so much easier for everybody. i'm sick of people lying to my face and going behind my back to find things out from people that i don't even talk to! i think i'm done for now
so there ya have it kids....i probably just shared more of me than i will ever share on here again....i don't care for people that i don't know to see/know that much of me...i share things like this with my close friends...but this is my life....and there you have it....i can't wait to leave this school and not come back. i'm out | | |
| for crying out loud....i want out and i wish i could leave this hellish town NOW!!!!! | | |
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